What did we do in uncomfortable situations before phones?
What did we do in long, slow, elevators? What did we do in social situations where you didn’t really know anyone? What did we do on the bus or train or plane when we’re sitting next to someone we’d rather not be?
The smartphone is an amazing tool for avoidance. And while this is true for long-term avoidance (avoiding talking with your partner, avoiding thinking about your life, etc.) this is especially true for short-term avoidance.
But just because it’s easier, doesn’t mean it’s better.
People are hard
Social situations can be difficult. I don’t know whether they naturally get harder or easier as you go through life, but for me, the only way I’ve gotten better at these uncomfortable situations is to experience them, to push head-first into them, the practice.
And well, let’s be honest, you might be a celebrity. You might have paparazzi filming your every move, fans climbing over your gate to get at you, and generally living a public life. So you might have different reasons for wanting to hide.
But the rest of you.
I bet there is a part of you that can be pretty lonely. I bet you that you have space in your heart (and your calendar) for meeting new people. If you look up instead of down, you are more likely to signal approachability, and maybe even be able to do some approaches yourself.
Your smartphone is actively inhibiting you in this process.
So I would urge you to, when you yourself feel an urge to open your phone and start messing around with it, to ask yourself what your motivation is.
But wait, there’s less
Ditching your smartphone, despite all the benefits, does not make you immune from the impulse to hide, nor does it eliminate the ability to do so.
My beloved flip phone can’t do much. I don’t have a data plan, so the built-in web broswer doesn’t offer any diversions, but I can text and call. I also have some extremely limited games (specifically, time-limited demos of Tetris, UNO, and Bejeweled, games which I couldn’t buy the full versions of if I wanted to, because of lack of said data plan).
But you’d be amazed how easy it is for me to become interested in UNO or Tetris when the desire to hide or avoid situations presents itself.
Everything can become interesting (if the alternative is that much worse)
This is a phenomenon that I’ve known about for a long time.
In high school, we teenagers weren’t all that interested in McDonald’s Happy Meal toys as a rule. However, the lack of diversions in a boring class schedule meant that when one of our friends brought in the entire set of Animaniacs Happy Meal toys, we found ourselves playing with them like they were the most diverting things in the world to us.
The point here is clear: when you want to avoid situations, you will find a way to do so. The smartphone isn’t the real issue here.
That said, the smartphone has a practically infinite capacity for diversion. If you want to, you could be on it, reading news, checking Facebook, tweeting, effectively forever if you wanted.
And any old phone will get old much sooner, forcing you to confront your situation much sooner.
Therefore, a dumbphone can be a good gateway product for the ultimate goal, which is to have you confront these situations without feeling the need to hide.
Actually, come to think of it, maybe I should find one of those Animaniacs Happy Meal toys. Maybe it could be a good conversation starter?
